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Skin Game: A Memoir, by Caroline Kettlewell
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Caroline Kettlewell's autobiography reveals a girl whose feelings of pain and alienation led her to seek relief in physically hurting herself, from age twelve into her twenties. Skin Game employs clear language and candid reflection to grant general readers as well as students an uncensored profile of a complex and unsettling disorder. "[This] mesmeric memoir examines the obsession with cutting that is believed to afflict somewhere around two million Americans, nearly all of them female," Francine Prose noted in Elle. "[Kettlewell's] language soars and its intensity deepens whenever she is recalling the lost joys and the thrilling sensation of sharp steel against her tender skin."
- Sales Rank: #477894 in Books
- Published on: 2000-06-07
- Released on: 2000-06-07
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.19" h x .56" w x 5.27" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 192 pages
Amazon.com Review
A number of recent books by journalists and therapists have probed the social and psychological forces behind the alarming practice of self-mutilation; this unflinching memoir tells readers what it feels like. Caroline Kettlewell made her first attempt at age 12 with a Swiss Army knife, too dull to perform satisfactorily, but she quickly graduated to razor blades. "There was a very fine, an elegant pain," she writes of her initiation. "In the razor's wake, the skin melted away ... then the blood welled up ... the chaos in my head spun itself into a silk of silence." Describing her tense but not unusually difficult youth, the author doesn't spend a lot of time trying to figure out why she was so unhappy, concentrating instead on making palpable her sense of dread and terror of being out of control, emotions relieved by the act of cutting. Some readers may wish for more self-analysis, but others will find Kettlewell's austere prose and sensibility refreshing. "I kept cutting because it worked. When I cut I felt better, " she explains. "I stopped cutting because I always could have stopped cutting." Not the fanciest way to put it, but those sentences, like the entire book, have the cadences of "the plain and inelegant truth." --Wendy Smith
From Publishers Weekly
Following last year's A Bright Red Scream by journalist Marilee Strong, Cutting by psychotherapist Steven Levenkron and Bodily Harm by self-injury treatment program directors Karen Conterio, Wendy Lader and Jennifer Kingson Bloom, this memoir is touted as the first personal account of compulsive self-mutilation. However, Kettlewell's story leaves more questions unaddressed than it answers. Having regularly cut her body with razor blades for most of her life, at age 36 she does not seem to have enough distance from her actions to fully understand them. Searching for a reason for her behavior, she writes about the distress and anxiety she felt during most of her childhood in rural Virginia, where her educated Northern parents were rarities. Unsure if her misery was justified, Kettlewell never talked about it, instead escaping by cutting her arms and legs, which allowed her to focus only on the present moment, the certainty of blood and pain. She still doesn't know whether she is entitled to the mental anguish she continues to suffer, and the bulk of the book, by detailing her misery, simply begs the question.We learn surprisingly few details about her lifeAa first marriage is summarized in a few sentences; her eating disorder in a few pages; her parents, second husband and child are never fully characterized. The text jumps repetitively and illogically between episodes, occasionally registering confusion at the level of the sentence structure ("Which one of us did I lie to protect?" is typical), and rife with maudlin metaphors and similes ("summer fell across my lap like a corpse"). Although Kettlewell's story shows courage in the writing, it will make most readers feel like voyeurs. (July)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Kirkus Reviews
A memoir of self-mutilation by a woman who grew up cutting herself with razors in an attempt to relieve the depression and anxiety she felt. Kettlewell first learned that cutting herself with a razor blade gave her a feeling of calm when she was 12. An insecure child growing up in an uncommunicative family, plagued by ever-present anxiety, she derived comfort from making small, deliberate cuts on her upper arms, legs, ears, and anyplace else on her body that could be hidden from the eyes of teachers, friends, and parents. Self-mutilation took her from the hurricane of her life into its eye: ``All the chaos, the sound and fury, the uncertainty and confusion and despairall of it evaporated in an instant, and I was for that moment grounded, coherent, whole.'' To a certain extent, her story is fascinating. Since various forms of self-mutilation, like eating disorders, plague a distressingly large segment of the population, its at least sociologically relevant to read about one persons pathology. The shock of Kettlewells story is not the fact that she used to cut herselfin this talk-show culture readers are not so easily surprisedbut that she has chosen to tell her story at all, after successfully hiding her disorder for so many years. The same self-deprecation that caused the author to consider her depression out of proportion to her problems, combined, perhaps, with the urge to protect others who allowed her to keep her cutting secret, keeps her account oddly restrained, and sometimes gives it the flavor of a therapeutic exercise or a magazine article. When she writes that as a teenager she displayed ``a public self whose job it was to distract attention from any evidence of that other me, she seems unaware that the public self is still present in this book. Timely, and valuable for its insight into the cutters psyche, but with a remove that prohibits empathy. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
Most helpful customer reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
Opened up for the world to see
By anorexic skincauldron
Unfortunately, for cutters and former cutters alike, there are few books on the shelves which address the issue of self-injury. Certainly, it's slim pickins when it comes to books which we can relate to. If it's a garbage book about cutting, that's what we're stuck reading, because there are few other options.
Fortunately for us, Caroline Kettlewell's Skin Game is quite a fantastic read, and one of the most well written memoirs I've ever read.
As an earlier reviewer noted (and criticized the book for), similes and metaphors are shoe-horned in abundant, and sometimes absurd quantities within the text of this book. With an insatiable hunger for metaphor, this actually boosts my own love affair with this book.
Skin Game's penmanship has a split personality feel, a delectable glitch which I'm sure Kettlewell wasn't aiming for, or may still be completely unaware of. Kettlewell #1, recalling somewhat "normal" teenage activities, isn't much varied from the average memoir writer. However, when undertaking the act of cutting itself, Kettlewell seems to get lost in the ecstasy of those moments, whereupon Kettlewell #2 emerges and assumes the role of author. Metaphors become more prominent, language becomes more complex, and there is a barrage of resonant details which make the reader feel as if he/she is not only sitting on the bed by Kettlewell's side during the ordeal, but inside of Kettlewell's skin itself. I must give a warning to cutters: These juicy morsels of the book can be VERY TRIGGERING. I first read this book after 2 years of abstaining from cutting, yet even after such a lengthy time, these graphic passages were enough to make me crave reverting back to the habit more than I had ever wanted to before. It should also be noted that Skin Game fiddles around a smidgen with Kettlewell's bout with anorexia, though it is inevitably cutting which stays on the top pedestal of subject matter throughout the book.
SPOILER ALERT!: I was a bit eager to stomp the rating down to 4 stars due to a very poorly constructed ending. One gets the impression that Kettlewell simply got bored of writing the book and attempted to stitch things up quite quickly (no pun intended). It's ends up being quite a slop job. Pop a Paxil, get tapped on the head by your fairy Godmother's magic wand, and everything's suddenly A' OK! Kettlewell herself writes "I stopped cutting because I always could have stopped cutting..." C'mon Caroline. C'mon. Stop lying to yourself, and to us. The truth would've been a much more interesting read.
Despite this meager faltering however, Skin Game is quite a powerful, and painful (in a good way) read, ultimately enough to hold a 5 star rating.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for anyone who struggles or who has ever struggled with the issue of cutting.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Pretty decent book on SI, however not that great
By A Customer
As a self-injurer myself I thought this book was a good read but not really helpful to those who self-injure. I thought that this book was decent but not all that great. The entire book was about her experiences as a self-injurer and an anorexic. She goes off on a lot of various topics, which do not really pertain to either topic.
As far as her recovery her story is not all that inspiring. The last part was rather short that addressed this topic. I was left wanted to know more, since she had explained other topics in such detail.
Her factors for recovering were rather trivial, medication (which for some people like myself don't work, or are not effective), having a baby, and reaching the age of 30 (or about that age). Her story overall was not all that different from thousands of others and seamed a little mundane (personally). However it is a very good account to way a self-injurer thinks and feels.
The anorexia part of this book is equally as good. However the book on the overall focuses on self-injury.
Several parts of this book I think would be a little `triggery' to those who continue to self injure like myself. There are a few parts where she talks about the act of cutting in great detail, which may trigger someone to follow suit.
There was a statistic that was in this book that I really disagree with, she said that about 60% of self-injurers also have or have had an eating disorder. I know many self-injurers and some do have an eating disorder but not nearly enough to justify that number.
I would recommend this book to family and friends who know or have found out someone they love is a self-injurer. However for those who do self injure I would not recommend this book.
I would like to see more books on SI that addressed the male SI population more, instead of solely focusing on the female self-injurers. However I do admit that the male self-injurer population is considerably lower.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
An important book as well as a great read!
By Samantha S.
I came across this book randomly in a second hand store but it struck me and I took it home and read it in it's entirety that night. While some reviewers have felt that Caroline Kettlewell was gloryifying her cutting I disagree. The way she wrote about it expressed how she felt at the time she cut. It was a wonderful way to overcome her other problems, to her, while she knew it was wrong, it was still a blessing. I have been struggling with depression for most of my life and I still have to fight to keep from cutting. In reading this book I felt so much less alone than ever before.
Something I feel is important about this book is that it is a first hand account. Caroline Kettlewell gives information on cutting that is scientifically based but it is only to give insight to her experience. So much of society had misconceptions about people struggling with depression, cutting, and eating disorders among other mental diseases and illness' that I find it very important for people to read about a real live person. Give a person to go with the disease. So many sufferers are defined by their problems and "outsiders" can't see past that.
Caroline Kettlewell also happens to have a degree in English which makes this book an extremely pleasant read. It is well written and while it does include the science behind the psychology it is in understandable terms; you don't feel like you're reading a text book. The personal account of a disease starting in preadolescence until adulthood and how it was overcome gives hope to sufferers and a new point of view to their friends and families. A MUST read.
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